crazy me

when i got tired, i really dont care waht going happen to myself..

i juz want to finished my jobs as soon as possible,,

on taht day, my brain was realy really got tired..

i got little bit depression on that day..

cant find interesting case for my long case..

plus has being laughed by my friends infront of my supervisor due to my craziness and stupidity

i dont know where i should put my innocent face on that time..

mental breakdown u know.....

then i juz stayed strong like ironman who has no face ..

i walk to the ward like no one look at me with this depression face..

my intention juz only one, want to find case for my presentation..

all the case in the ward , so complicated..

of coz i totally not interested with all them...bcoz my brain function goes down to 30% already..

so better for me choose simple case, least thinking process is needed 

especially in this kind of low mood state right??

balik bilikkkk sakit kepala mengarang ayat..

i was like want to vomit all my bad feeling on that day..

but then..

Allah alwazz with me..

i felt calm after pray and istighfar..

feeling so sleepy than put my head on the pillow

accidently "tertidow" with unfinished long case preparation..

ooohhhhnooooooo

the next morning, i went to dr joseph class..

around 10 a.m the class finished and i came back to my room continue my long case preparation..

at 2.30 pm..

i present my case..

almost 4 years and half , i was in medical school, this is the 1st my presentation my lecturer  praised me..

i was like?????

biar betikkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...

dlm hati (omg..omg..omg..is this real??? not dreaming right??..).

 sweet moment as final year student i think..

one of memorable moment for me...

bcoz i am not bright and clever students

seriusly..

i alwazzzzz alwazzzzzzzz bad student who alwazzz get scolded especially during my 3rd year..

after class. khety asked me" zira, what ur feeling???u feel it??"..

"yes, i feel it"

moral nyer, in every pain comes happiness..

Allah Talla itu sangat Adil..

juz believe that u can ..no matter waht the difficulty , juz trust ur self..

juz put aside all  the reasons that push u down..

some people so intellegent, dont compare it with ur self..

u have ur own "taring"

ur weakness is not ur limitation 

take them as ur strength and ticket for u to success...

rasa nk menaip lagi

assalamualaikum..
da lama berhabukkkkk bersawang blog yg entah ape2 ni..
insyaallah blog ni akan terisi selepas ni..
tiba2 jer kan?/
actually buku ulu yam di ulu yam inspires me to continue blogging..
juz utk di jadikan sejarah hidup...
setiap org ade cerita masing2...
begitu jugak saya..
xde org baca xpe...
i dont care..
this blog gonna be my diary to my children and grand children...
and they will say "this is the journey of my granny"..
hi9...
amboiiiiii manjang mikirinnn nyer..

almost 1 year i stop writing ...
1 tahun yg cukop mematangkan Axiera..
^_^

dah 2 bulan aku jdi final year student..
kakak senior iols skrg tau..
hi9...
rasa tua sangt uols..
sob..sobs...
lagi 3 bulan nk exam end posting medicine posting..
even dah senior medicine , still alottttttsssss yg aku xtahu..
sedih dgn diri sendiri...

 posting ni, for me is quite challenging ..
sbb banyk nk kena baca..

tapi dlm pada stress, dlm pada dok rasa down tp still medical school bring me back close to people especially to elderly..

thats one of the privilege being medical students..

hebat nye kuasa org lama ni mmg mengetarkan jiwa muda aku..

satu hobi aku, aku suka approach elderly patients..

sbb bagi aku nenek and atok2 ni cute and sangt murah hatiiii...

1 ) nenek asthma

u know what, mmg betol orang kata , makin kita tua makin sensitive and makin dahaga kan kasih sayang...

pada suatu pagi tu aku x ikot ward round (sbb malas nk ikot, berdiri lama2 ) ^_^

then, aku tertengok ade seorang nenek ni tgh tercungap2 sesak nafas..

aku pom terus mendekati nenek ni..

"nek. knp??boleh saya tolong"

" Doctor, tolong saya...saya xleh nafas ni...sempot datang lagi"

" nek, saya student lagi..saya bukan doctor....kejap yer nek, saya bagitau doctor bertugas and nurse"

aku pom keluar laaa cari doctor..aku tengok semua doctor busy and aku bagitau nurse yg nenek katil sekian2 ni sempottttt....

sbb aku xleh buat ape2, aku juz student..6ti pandai2 pulak kan..

2, 3 kali aku keluar masuk katil nenek ni sbb nurse and doctors x kunjung tiba..

barang kali busy bebonar prepare for ward round gamaknyer..

so aku decide utk buat something..

" nek, nek jgn bnyk cakap tau..6ti lagiii bertambah sempottttt...nah!nek sedup oxygen ni tau..."

sementara tunggu nurse dtg tengok..

then, aku masuk lagi dekat cubical nenek ni..

alhamdulillah..

nenek da xsempottttt...

" Doktor, terima kaseh yer....."(berulamg kali di ulang)

"nek , saya student jer..saya x buat ape pom nek"

nenek ambik tgn aku, dia cium.... mungkin sbg tanda terima kasihh..

mmg time ni, rasa sebak sangat sbb aku xbuat ape2 pom...juz be there jer....

nenek pesan " doktor, 6ti free2 dtg laaaa lewat saya lagiiiiiii"

"insyaallah nek..^^...nenek jg diri tau.. moga nenek cepat sembuh"

2) auntyyy india

pagi tu ade ward round dekal HKL...mmg kena ikot ward round elderly .....di sebabkan terlalu awal sampai ward, aku xtau nk buat ape...so aku decide nk menceriakan hari dgn menegur makcik2 n nenek dekat ward
" good morning aunty ...aunty mcm mane ?? ade sihat sedikit??" (nada ceria )
aunty senyum jer...
senyuman yg sngt welcoming aku sbg medicalstudent..
some patient, ade yg pura2 tidow sbb xnak di ganggu waktu tidow pagi2 ni kan..
tapi aunty ni sporting jer...
perbualan kami bermula,,,aunty cerita2..
then, aku pom nk mx diriiiii la kan nk move to another katil..
then auty ni mcm x kasi aku nk move...
aku aser serba salah dah...
mungkin auty  ni sedih n lonely kottttt , nak aku temankan dia...
like nenek asthma tadi...aunty indian ni ambikkk tgn saya and letakk dekat pipi dia
gua touching sangat tau...
touching tahap yg xleh nk describe...
i can feel kasih sayang seorang ibuuuuu bila auty ni buat camtuuuu..
ye laaa..org yg xde kaitan hubungan bersaudaraan, xseagama ....boleh treat kita well even dlm sakit kan??
why not kita yg sihat niiiiiii sharing some love to people surrounding us..
Moralnyer : the best medicine to the patients treat them well not juz by prescribing alot of medicine..
listen more than speaking..it can comfort patients...

by Dr Aziera (27/9/2015)
( kawan saya cakap da boleh start guna title dr. sbb next year da nk start berkidmat utk masyarakat..wish me luck tau..i need ur doa ..doakan saya jadi dr yg baik to my patients tau..saya harap saya boleh maintain senyum seperti niiiiii  diasaat ke stressan melanda)

masa itu pantas

tadi tengok budak final year dah nk grad dah..fuyoooo....meaning say, im gonna be future super senior...insyallah if i pass this end posting....

tapi mcm x caya jer saya dah makin tua..makin senior...

seriusss saya masih rasa saya masih kebudakkan yg perlukan jagaan senior2 yg sentiasa berikan nasihat ...

so, next year saya laaa yg kena bagi nasihat dekat adek2 buddy saya..

mcm mne saya nk nasihatkan mereka ni..

sbb saya pom sometimes very2 down, x cukop kualiti nk jadi senior ni..

setiap kali nk exam jer aser nk "quit"

lepas exam alhamdulillah lulus

baru boleh cakap "best jugak medic ni"...

hi9...

saya nk jer  jadi matang mcm orang lain..

tapi pemikiran saya sngt la x matang..

muka maybe nampak matang....

ni laaa kelemahan bila jadi anak second bongsu..

selalu dimanjakan..

selaluuuuu dilebih2 kan..

perkataan mudahnyer, x berdikari ...

ayyo....

hopefully, i can be very nice senior to them...

yg x garang..

yg x sombong..

yg x annoying..

yg x berlagak..

yg x nmpak seniority as big thing...

yg x buli adek2 buddy...

yg boleh dijadikan kakak mereka not juz in medical school only....

~bersama adek2 buddy yg comel2~

~the one that the most "tembam " is the senioriest~

~duit saya kena curiii~

1stly mx maaf, entry ni mungkin xmenarik sangat sbb saya da lama x menulis...

idea pom makin berkarat..

da macam x de skill sangt da nk berpuitis...

uols rindu x nk dgr cerita2 mengarut cik azira???

hopefully ade laaaa yg induuu kita ni yer..^_^

actually nk cerita duit saya kena curiiii!!

kureng asam betoiii si pencuri tu..

potong tangan kan baru tahu (saya penyokong hudu 101%)

semalam lepas habis class, saya sngt laaa lapar...

bukak2 beg duit xde..

mula tu saya mcm curious...

betol ke duit aku xde ni??

rasa tadi mcm bawak banyak la jugak duit...

pikir punya pikir, x mustahil sbb sebelum tu mmg pernah ade org hilang dompet dia kat situuu...

bila da check bnyk kali, rata2 tempat aku cariiii..

mmg kompem sangt kena curi sbb one of my friend mmg nampak duit saya mmg ade dlm duit beg..

xde istilah aziera x bawak duit pastu ngaku duit hilang...

mmg geram sangt hati niiiii duittt hilang...

berbagai nice words yg hampir aku bagi kat pencuri tuuuu (sabor jer laaaa)

tp bila aku pikir balik, no need marah2 pom...

tu tanda nya Allah nk saya berfikir..

duit awak, xsemestinya milik mutlak awak.

it can be kepunyaan org lain..

bila fikir balik "bila eh last aku sedekah ??"

mungkin jugak Allah nk ingatkan aku agar lebih bnyk memberiiiiiii dari menerima...

Duit yg berkat itu datangnya dari ALLAH...

lagi bnyk awak memberi lagi bnyk awak dapat (sedekah)

lagi susah awak memberi lagi bnyk duit awak habis (tanpa awak sedar duit mengalir mcm air)

so , saya rasa duit saya hilang mungkin sbb dah lama xmemberi niii...

ini semua peringatan kpd saya supaya lebih memberiiii

kdg2 ape yg berlaku kat kita , ade hikmah yg tersendiriii yg perlu kita fikir tanpa menyalahkan mane2 pihak...

blame ourself...

ya mmg salah saya sbb xhati2 simpan duit.

.^_^