crazy me

when i got tired, i really dont care waht going happen to myself..

i juz want to finished my jobs as soon as possible,,

on taht day, my brain was realy really got tired..

i got little bit depression on that day..

cant find interesting case for my long case..

plus has being laughed by my friends infront of my supervisor due to my craziness and stupidity

i dont know where i should put my innocent face on that time..

mental breakdown u know.....

then i juz stayed strong like ironman who has no face ..

i walk to the ward like no one look at me with this depression face..

my intention juz only one, want to find case for my presentation..

all the case in the ward , so complicated..

of coz i totally not interested with all them...bcoz my brain function goes down to 30% already..

so better for me choose simple case, least thinking process is needed 

especially in this kind of low mood state right??

balik bilikkkk sakit kepala mengarang ayat..

i was like want to vomit all my bad feeling on that day..

but then..

Allah alwazz with me..

i felt calm after pray and istighfar..

feeling so sleepy than put my head on the pillow

accidently "tertidow" with unfinished long case preparation..

ooohhhhnooooooo

the next morning, i went to dr joseph class..

around 10 a.m the class finished and i came back to my room continue my long case preparation..

at 2.30 pm..

i present my case..

almost 4 years and half , i was in medical school, this is the 1st my presentation my lecturer  praised me..

i was like?????

biar betikkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...

dlm hati (omg..omg..omg..is this real??? not dreaming right??..).

 sweet moment as final year student i think..

one of memorable moment for me...

bcoz i am not bright and clever students

seriusly..

i alwazzzzz alwazzzzzzzz bad student who alwazzz get scolded especially during my 3rd year..

after class. khety asked me" zira, what ur feeling???u feel it??"..

"yes, i feel it"

moral nyer, in every pain comes happiness..

Allah Talla itu sangat Adil..

juz believe that u can ..no matter waht the difficulty , juz trust ur self..

juz put aside all  the reasons that push u down..

some people so intellegent, dont compare it with ur self..

u have ur own "taring"

ur weakness is not ur limitation 

take them as ur strength and ticket for u to success...

rasa nk menaip lagi

assalamualaikum..
da lama berhabukkkkk bersawang blog yg entah ape2 ni..
insyaallah blog ni akan terisi selepas ni..
tiba2 jer kan?/
actually buku ulu yam di ulu yam inspires me to continue blogging..
juz utk di jadikan sejarah hidup...
setiap org ade cerita masing2...
begitu jugak saya..
xde org baca xpe...
i dont care..
this blog gonna be my diary to my children and grand children...
and they will say "this is the journey of my granny"..
hi9...
amboiiiiii manjang mikirinnn nyer..

almost 1 year i stop writing ...
1 tahun yg cukop mematangkan Axiera..
^_^

dah 2 bulan aku jdi final year student..
kakak senior iols skrg tau..
hi9...
rasa tua sangt uols..
sob..sobs...
lagi 3 bulan nk exam end posting medicine posting..
even dah senior medicine , still alottttttsssss yg aku xtahu..
sedih dgn diri sendiri...

 posting ni, for me is quite challenging ..
sbb banyk nk kena baca..

tapi dlm pada stress, dlm pada dok rasa down tp still medical school bring me back close to people especially to elderly..

thats one of the privilege being medical students..

hebat nye kuasa org lama ni mmg mengetarkan jiwa muda aku..

satu hobi aku, aku suka approach elderly patients..

sbb bagi aku nenek and atok2 ni cute and sangt murah hatiiii...

1 ) nenek asthma

u know what, mmg betol orang kata , makin kita tua makin sensitive and makin dahaga kan kasih sayang...

pada suatu pagi tu aku x ikot ward round (sbb malas nk ikot, berdiri lama2 ) ^_^

then, aku tertengok ade seorang nenek ni tgh tercungap2 sesak nafas..

aku pom terus mendekati nenek ni..

"nek. knp??boleh saya tolong"

" Doctor, tolong saya...saya xleh nafas ni...sempot datang lagi"

" nek, saya student lagi..saya bukan doctor....kejap yer nek, saya bagitau doctor bertugas and nurse"

aku pom keluar laaa cari doctor..aku tengok semua doctor busy and aku bagitau nurse yg nenek katil sekian2 ni sempottttt....

sbb aku xleh buat ape2, aku juz student..6ti pandai2 pulak kan..

2, 3 kali aku keluar masuk katil nenek ni sbb nurse and doctors x kunjung tiba..

barang kali busy bebonar prepare for ward round gamaknyer..

so aku decide utk buat something..

" nek, nek jgn bnyk cakap tau..6ti lagiii bertambah sempottttt...nah!nek sedup oxygen ni tau..."

sementara tunggu nurse dtg tengok..

then, aku masuk lagi dekat cubical nenek ni..

alhamdulillah..

nenek da xsempottttt...

" Doktor, terima kaseh yer....."(berulamg kali di ulang)

"nek , saya student jer..saya x buat ape pom nek"

nenek ambik tgn aku, dia cium.... mungkin sbg tanda terima kasihh..

mmg time ni, rasa sebak sangat sbb aku xbuat ape2 pom...juz be there jer....

nenek pesan " doktor, 6ti free2 dtg laaaa lewat saya lagiiiiiii"

"insyaallah nek..^^...nenek jg diri tau.. moga nenek cepat sembuh"

2) auntyyy india

pagi tu ade ward round dekal HKL...mmg kena ikot ward round elderly .....di sebabkan terlalu awal sampai ward, aku xtau nk buat ape...so aku decide nk menceriakan hari dgn menegur makcik2 n nenek dekat ward
" good morning aunty ...aunty mcm mane ?? ade sihat sedikit??" (nada ceria )
aunty senyum jer...
senyuman yg sngt welcoming aku sbg medicalstudent..
some patient, ade yg pura2 tidow sbb xnak di ganggu waktu tidow pagi2 ni kan..
tapi aunty ni sporting jer...
perbualan kami bermula,,,aunty cerita2..
then, aku pom nk mx diriiiii la kan nk move to another katil..
then auty ni mcm x kasi aku nk move...
aku aser serba salah dah...
mungkin auty  ni sedih n lonely kottttt , nak aku temankan dia...
like nenek asthma tadi...aunty indian ni ambikkk tgn saya and letakk dekat pipi dia
gua touching sangat tau...
touching tahap yg xleh nk describe...
i can feel kasih sayang seorang ibuuuuu bila auty ni buat camtuuuu..
ye laaa..org yg xde kaitan hubungan bersaudaraan, xseagama ....boleh treat kita well even dlm sakit kan??
why not kita yg sihat niiiiiii sharing some love to people surrounding us..
Moralnyer : the best medicine to the patients treat them well not juz by prescribing alot of medicine..
listen more than speaking..it can comfort patients...

by Dr Aziera (27/9/2015)
( kawan saya cakap da boleh start guna title dr. sbb next year da nk start berkidmat utk masyarakat..wish me luck tau..i need ur doa ..doakan saya jadi dr yg baik to my patients tau..saya harap saya boleh maintain senyum seperti niiiiii  diasaat ke stressan melanda)

masa itu pantas

tadi tengok budak final year dah nk grad dah..fuyoooo....meaning say, im gonna be future super senior...insyallah if i pass this end posting....

tapi mcm x caya jer saya dah makin tua..makin senior...

seriusss saya masih rasa saya masih kebudakkan yg perlukan jagaan senior2 yg sentiasa berikan nasihat ...

so, next year saya laaa yg kena bagi nasihat dekat adek2 buddy saya..

mcm mne saya nk nasihatkan mereka ni..

sbb saya pom sometimes very2 down, x cukop kualiti nk jadi senior ni..

setiap kali nk exam jer aser nk "quit"

lepas exam alhamdulillah lulus

baru boleh cakap "best jugak medic ni"...

hi9...

saya nk jer  jadi matang mcm orang lain..

tapi pemikiran saya sngt la x matang..

muka maybe nampak matang....

ni laaa kelemahan bila jadi anak second bongsu..

selalu dimanjakan..

selaluuuuu dilebih2 kan..

perkataan mudahnyer, x berdikari ...

ayyo....

hopefully, i can be very nice senior to them...

yg x garang..

yg x sombong..

yg x annoying..

yg x berlagak..

yg x nmpak seniority as big thing...

yg x buli adek2 buddy...

yg boleh dijadikan kakak mereka not juz in medical school only....

~bersama adek2 buddy yg comel2~

~the one that the most "tembam " is the senioriest~

~duit saya kena curiii~

1stly mx maaf, entry ni mungkin xmenarik sangat sbb saya da lama x menulis...

idea pom makin berkarat..

da macam x de skill sangt da nk berpuitis...

uols rindu x nk dgr cerita2 mengarut cik azira???

hopefully ade laaaa yg induuu kita ni yer..^_^

actually nk cerita duit saya kena curiiii!!

kureng asam betoiii si pencuri tu..

potong tangan kan baru tahu (saya penyokong hudu 101%)

semalam lepas habis class, saya sngt laaa lapar...

bukak2 beg duit xde..

mula tu saya mcm curious...

betol ke duit aku xde ni??

rasa tadi mcm bawak banyak la jugak duit...

pikir punya pikir, x mustahil sbb sebelum tu mmg pernah ade org hilang dompet dia kat situuu...

bila da check bnyk kali, rata2 tempat aku cariiii..

mmg kompem sangt kena curi sbb one of my friend mmg nampak duit saya mmg ade dlm duit beg..

xde istilah aziera x bawak duit pastu ngaku duit hilang...

mmg geram sangt hati niiiii duittt hilang...

berbagai nice words yg hampir aku bagi kat pencuri tuuuu (sabor jer laaaa)

tp bila aku pikir balik, no need marah2 pom...

tu tanda nya Allah nk saya berfikir..

duit awak, xsemestinya milik mutlak awak.

it can be kepunyaan org lain..

bila fikir balik "bila eh last aku sedekah ??"

mungkin jugak Allah nk ingatkan aku agar lebih bnyk memberiiiiiii dari menerima...

Duit yg berkat itu datangnya dari ALLAH...

lagi bnyk awak memberi lagi bnyk awak dapat (sedekah)

lagi susah awak memberi lagi bnyk duit awak habis (tanpa awak sedar duit mengalir mcm air)

so , saya rasa duit saya hilang mungkin sbb dah lama xmemberi niii...

ini semua peringatan kpd saya supaya lebih memberiiii

kdg2 ape yg berlaku kat kita , ade hikmah yg tersendiriii yg perlu kita fikir tanpa menyalahkan mane2 pihak...

blame ourself...

ya mmg salah saya sbb xhati2 simpan duit.

.^_^

my feveret songs..^_^

assalamualaikum and selmat petang...
^_^
kelas xdakkk , so buleh laaa aku update blog..
aku malas nk tulis panjang2...
sbb aku  tahu uolsss mesti borink bangat baca blog aku yg panjang2 kan??
sbb aku mmg tau aku ni mmg seorang manusia yg membosankan...
seriusliiii....
aku pendiam (bosannya kan??)
aku x funny (bosannya kan??)
aku nerd (bosannya kan??)
aku kuno (bosannya kan??)
aku x layan lagu2 omputih mcm orang lain..(bosannya kann??)
 aku x layan banyak movie (korea + omputih ) mmg aku "rarely" tengok..tapi cerita melayu pukol 7.30 ptg aku laju pulak update ..(jiwa melayuuu aku nii)..
klaau korang nk sharing2 pasal movie mane yg best, dgn aku mmg x laaaa aku boleh bagi jawapan yg bernas..
hik9..
such a borink person right??/

 actually motif aku hari ni aku nak cakap aku ade penyakit amnesia bab2 ingat lagu..
sbb aku xpernah nk hafal "lagu"
siyes..
sepanjang 22 tahun aku hidup, tanya laaa lagu pe pom (malay song, english,korea), satu ape pom aku xpernah igt lirik full  except lagu2 yg penting jer aku ingat (example neragaku, lagu sekolah, lagu merdeka)..
tu pom nasib baik aku ingt..hik9...
tu mmg kelemahan aku..
maybe aku ni bukan darah seni kot...
^_^

lagu omputihhh mmg xpernah laaa aku ingt except for this 2 song...

IRFAN MAKKI - WAITING FOR THE CALLS

Miles away, oceans apart
Never in my sight, but always in my heart
The love is always there, it will never die
Only growing stronger, a tear rolls down my eye

I'm thinking all the time
When the day will come
Standing there before you
Accept this Hajj of mine

Standing in ihram, making my tawaf
Drinking blessings from Your well
The challenge of Safa and Marwa
Rekindles my imaan

O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall
O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall

I feel alive and I feel strong
I can feel Islam running through my veins
To see my Muslim brothers, their purpose all the same
Greeting one another, exalting one True Name
I truly hope one day, everyone will get the chance 
To be blessed with the greatest honour
Of being called to Your Noble House

Standing in ihram making my tawaf, 
Drinking blessings from Your well
The challenge of Safa and Marwa
Rekindles my imaan

O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall
O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall

Labbayka Allahumma labbayk (here I am, O Allah, here I am)
Labbayka la sharika laka labbayk (here I am, You have no partner. Here I am)
Innal hamda wanni'mata laka wal mulk (surely all praise, grace and dominion is Yours)
La sharika laka labbayk (No partner have You, here I am)

Labbayka Allahumma labbayk (here I am, O Allah, here I am)
Labbayka la sharika laka labbayk (here I am, You have no partner. Here I am)
Innal hamda wanni'mata laka wal mulk (surely all praise, grace and dominion is Yours)
La sharika laka labbayk (No partner have You, here I am)
Labbayk(here I am)
Labbayk(here I am)

O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall
O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall

O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall
O Allah! I am waiting for the call
Praying for the day when I can be near the Kabah wall

Labbayka Allahumma labbayk (here I am, O Allah, here I am)
Labbayka la sharika laka labbayk (here I am, You have no partner. Here I am)
Innal hamda wanni'mata laka wal mulk (surely all praise, grace and dominion is Yours)
La sharika laka labbayk (No partner have You, here I am)

Labbayka Allahumma labbayk (here I am, O Allah, here I am)
Labbayka la sharika laka labbayk (here I am, You have no partner. Here I am)
Innal hamda wanni'mata laka wal mulk (surely all praise, grace and dominion is Yours)
La sharika laka labbayk (No partner have You, here I am)
Labbayk(here I am)
Labbayk(here I am)


~rasa bergetar jiwa  x bila dgr lagu ni??? dpt rasaa kan seolah2 kaabah memanggil2 kita??bila dengar lagu niiii aku aser nk sangt sampai ke tanah suci ,,,( I am truly waiting for the calls).. tq Najwa Amir..tq Waaa bagi lagu ni....now i'm really fall in love with this songs.~

You And I Lyrics

By: Irfan Makki

You and I, we are the same
We win and lose in the game of life
You and I, we seek the truth
Looking for the signs in the Universe
In this journey we are companions
Struggling through what life throws our way

Chorus:
Why should a mother cry?
Why should a wife see her husband die?
Oh, tell me why do we have to fight?
Why don’t we try, just you and I?
Oh, why don’t we try?

You and I, we love our land
Protect our own against any harm
You and I dream of the day
When everybody will live in peace
In this journey we are companions
Struggling through what life throws our way

Chorus

Throughout history so many senseless wars
Yet we never learn, we’re building borders around us
But we still have a chance to heal our wounded world
Let’s get rid of hatred and see each other as we really are
Before it’s to late, who knows what tomorrow may bring
But without justice there’s no way that peace can exist

i'm keep listening and repeated this song alwazz and alwazzz until my ear get tired to hear it..
hik9......
aku rasa aku ni daa jadi peminat Irfan Makki dah...
semua lagu dia aku suka..
semua bagi kesan kat jiwa kecik ini...
 nk kenal x buah hati baru ku (Ifran Makki)
Aku dah google seacrh siap2...
^_^

IIrfan Makki's Biography: 
Nasheed artist and songwriter Irfan Makki’s songs offer up vibrant imagery with the innocence of a child-like observer and the wisdom of an elderly man, blended with world beat percussion, South Asian rhythms and a distinctive urban R&B vocal style. A sensitive songwriter with a humble stage presence, Irfan has performed all over the UK, US, and Canada, sharing the stage with such artists and friends such as Dawud Wharnsby Ali, Zain Bikha, 786, and the US based hip hop group Native Deen. Born in Pakistan and migrating to Canada with his family as an infant, singer/songwriter Irfan Makki grew up within a community celebrating the diversity of cultures. Enchanted by dreams of utilizing his own voice in recitation and song, Irfan began to hone his own natural vocal talents. Throughout his teen years he immersed himself in the development of his unique musical style. The blessing of growing up against the multicultural city-scape of Toronto ensured that not only was he surrounded by a diverse Muslim community, but also encircled by a vibrant arts community. Irfan recorded his first solo CD in 1997 “Reminisce”. In 1999 he was featured in the CD compilation “Light Upon Light”. His two songs “Light Upon Light”, and “When the Leaves Begin To Fall”, were met with high acclaim and were becoming the favourites of Nasheed listeners all over the world, especially in the U.K. and U.S. He released his second solo CD “Salam” in 2003. This was met with great anticipation and soon led Irfan to tour all over the UK and US. It is the hope now that the coming together of the Awakening family and Irfan Makki will inshaAllah blossom into a beautiful bond.

~alwaz do good deeds~

....assalamualaikum...
salam Jumaat u olsss...

i da nk balik ni..meninggal kolej kesayangan (sayang sangat ok!!sbb ade kolej yg selesa la gua boleh study for my exam..gua boleh tidow semahu mungkin with gaya kuak lentang kalah Pandelela Rinong...^_^ alhamdulillah sbb masih boleh stay kolej 17 and syukur sangat2 Aziera telah lulus minor posting... another 2 week gonna be 4th year medical student....macam x layak jer kan kan kan???)...

ha9...soriiiii bebelan di atas mcm xde kaitan jer dgn tajuk...
soriii sbb dah lama jugak x buat esei , mcm berkarat jer idea..nk kena polish duluuu neyh..
mcm x menarik je kan entry aku ni??
x kisah la menarik ke x...
u olssss baca kalau nak baca..
juz ignore it kalauu x nak baca...
hi9...
memandangkan hari ni , Hari Jumaat yg mulia, ape kata kita update ilmu cikit...
Aziera nk share bnyk xleh sbb ilmu x cukop , sedikit sahaja laaa before bercutiiiii neyh...
and one more thing who those yg rasa Aziera ni ade buat salah dgn dia or dgn sesiapa jer, please n please tegur daku andai aku salah..^_^ .give me ur intelligent  advise ok...Aziera hnya manusia biasa yg bisa tewas bila2 masa utk buat dosa dan kesalahan...

pesanan Aziera hari ni satu jer :

1) bila nk buat baik please ingat ayat yg kat bawah ni ea^_^....bila nk buat kebaikan jgn tangguh2 ...bila rasa nk buat tu, terus move on ..kalau asyik tangguh jer takut kalau penyakit was-was tu dtg bersama-sama geng syaitan  yg asik nk kacau kita and  stop kita dari buat kebaikan...... insyaallah moga kita semua akan lebih bermotivasi untuk sentiasa melakukan kebaikan..

 " Surely for those  who believe and do good deeds, their place of entertainment shall be the garden of paradise"

 ok!!da ade feel x nk buat kebaikan after baca surah ni??? rasa lebih bermotivasi kan??
kebaikan yg kita lakukan ni buat untuk org lain.. tapi untuk diri kita sendiri...

jom..kita sama2 perbaiki diri kita (termasuk diri yg hina dina ini)...

~AYUH JADIKAN QURAN BFF~

assalamualaikum...
cuti ke hari ni semua??
ke sekarang dah tengah shopping baju raya...??
hopefully hari ni semua orang akan mem"busy" kan diri dgn membaca dan memahami al quran...
insyaallah...

kita ni hamba yg cukop lalai kan???(especially me)..
kadang2 nk kena selalu diperingatkan...
iman kita ni kadang2 naik kadang2 turun mcm naik roller coster ..yee idak??
bila ade somthing trigger, roller coster akn lagi pressure utk tambah kelajuan kan??
mcm jugak kita sbg hamba Allah yg sentiasa lalai ni..
kena ade trigger utk kena lipat gandakan effort kita utk baca quran...
time nk exam baca la lebih cikit....
time sedih quran is the best choice...
~ tapi xpe.....bergembira dan bersyukur la di saat anda masih boleh membaca quran sbb itu menandakan hati anda dekat dgn Allah..rahmat Allah ade bersama anda....sbb xsemua dari kita yg boleh baca quran....x semua dari kita diberi hidayah untuk berdamping dgn quran kalamullah..if u read the al quran, remember, u r the selected servant Allah Taala yg Allah Taala sayang.....yg Allah Taala pilih untuk baca surat cintaNya kepada hamba2Nya yg soleh....^^~


Al quran ni bukan macam novel2 biasa tau..
alquran ni adalah ayat2 Allah Taala yg hidup...
bila kita baca, ketenangan yg kita dapat...
terlalu banyak peringatan2 yg Allah jelaskan dlm al quran( seperti dalm surah Al baqarah)
x rugi kalau kita spend sedikit masa kita untk alquran sbb alquran ni adalah saham akhirat kita...
 yg kan menerangi kubur kita ketika kita di alam barzakh nanti...
yg juga menghalang kita dari masuk api neraka......
subhanallah..
betapa hebat nyer kitab kalamullah ini...
rugi kan kalau kita x baca al quran selalu dan faham isi kandungn Nya..??
sangt rugi kawan2...

saya harap , dgn perkongsian yg sedikit ni akan trigger semangt kita semua untuk baca al quran...
sama2 laaaaa kita berusaha untuk jadi sahabat baik al quran...
insyaallah...
(peringatan untuk diri sendiri)

MAKE THE QURAN YOUR BESTFREIND,
THE MORE U SIT WITH IT ,
THE MORE IT HONORS YOU...GIVES YOU ITS SECRET...
AND ELEVATES YOUR STATUS....